Macabre Like Dreams

by Leroy "FatVonFree" Freeman Jr.

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Macabre Like Dreams

Country and Blues are the #1 influence in my life, but when I discovered and started making hip hop beats I really felt free to express myself. Combining a classic rock/jamband bass guitar style, Southern Rock and Delta Blues guitar with extremely heavy drums, the sound was more visceral. With this project I tapped into some of the darker things floating around in my life over the last few years and some things going back even further.

“Post Relationship Phase” addresses the typical feelings coming out of some rough situations. There is a sense of feeling sorry for yourself, the coulda shoulda woulda phase. Once we get through that there is a sense of feeling strong, a standing ovation in your mind for a short period. Then we head back down a path that we think is new with renewed vigor and a sense of “this is it, I got the one this time”. The second half of this song has everything around the bass guitar falling apart towards the end. Crazy cycles we all put ourselves through.

“Bury Me In Louisiana …. South of Slidell” reminds me of driving to Texas when I lived in Alabama. I would be on I-10 and would always get off at the same exit and head to a log cabin gas station to get food. Cheeseburger, fried pickles, a link of boudin and some alligator tail. I would sit outside and enjoy the food but what I really enjoyed was just being in that area. Something haunting and soothing about Louisiana. I started taking my acoustic guitar with me on these trips and after I ate I would play guitar for an hour or two. The store owner joined me on a few impromptu jams, which I have recorded of course. I always think of that place when my mind wonders into the negative.

“My Father’s Side of The Family”... This past year my father passed away from some kind of cancer. He didn’t bother tell my step mother or my half sister to let my sister and me know. He only had 3 children. My mother learned when she went to a football game with my niece. Didn’t mourn for him or whatever. In his eyes he was above my mother and anything to do with her.

“My Father 5 Months Before I Was Born”…. as you will hear in the intro. The same lines. My pregnant (with me at the time) mother coming home to my dad being in a rampage about nothing and beating her while my older sister watched. He would then go into a tree that still stands on my mother’s property and sit up in the tree with a gun to his head and tell my mother he was gonna kill himself. My Uncle Chester (not blood just a very very close family friend) would come talk him down everytime. Cycles man …. effin cycles….

“One Block…..14 Black Churches”… I went to church growing up….excuse me I was drug to church growing up. I enjoyed some of it and hated most of it. Our married pastor was having sex with another woman in the choir, to fights during the “business meetings”. I was an usher so after the offerings I would go back and help the deacons count the money. I was in the 8th grade at the time, and I just listened to these grown men in Church counting up the money saying “This and That sorry Mother Fucker”, and would just carry on and ignore it. Fast forward to 12th grade and the same is still going on, but one day my mother came and got me/drug me from back there and told me to not help them count money. I wanted to ask her why the eff we were even there but I didn’t fee like getting suplexed in the House of The Lord. Black churches are so divided, you will see in some country towns, 5 different black churches in one sector of the town. Lol a shame I guess.

“Granny Maggie’s Lament”…. My grandmother on my Father’s side of the family who up until the day she died, 2 months ago, was treated like shit for keeping in contact with my mother and me. My father had scared the whole entire side of his family into doing whatever he wanted. She was an amazing lady. I play some guitar on this while drinking one night. This was the 1st take. I just left it at that. I didn't want to redo it the next day.

“Quality Time With The Missus”…. a short tribute to a close friend and I guess I could say we were each other’s creative Muse’s. I truly believe we would rob a bank together one day. We have written and sold over 136 songs together. I moved here to Japan last year and everyday for about 6 months we talked about how fucked up and uninspired we felt. We have gotten back into a routine now that we are apart but we never could have imagined we would “lose our way” the way we did.

“Working On My Moods Swinging Less”…. we all have an issue of mood swings I think. Mine are severe but don’t involve lashing out. My result is getting quiet and putting my earbuds in. They are getting better but I think the guitar solo paints my mood perfectly on this one. Even after you hear the speakers break up you can hear the lament or regret in the tone of it for even lashing out near the end of the solo.

“24 East...Exit 4 To Exit 40 …. Clearing My Mind”…. this is a stretch of highway leaving Clarksville TN heading to Nashville TN. When I wanted to clear my mind it was usually me jumping in the car and throwing on Portishead’s “Cowboys” and heading towards Nashville. If something was bothering me or I was trying to workout an issue it was gone by the time I got to Nashville. This was my Slidell away from Slidell Louisiana.

“Reclusion Drives Me (I Hate The Internet) …..This thought is one I battled with for a while before I decided to embrace it. I have long bouts where I go for months without interaction in real life and online, but I am making music, lots of music usually. Then I go for maybe 3 months of full on interaction and may hit up a local watering hole or 2. Human interaction is dead it seems anyway. When I come out of this reclusive state I usually want to talk to folks but soon realize when we all go hang out many folks are on their phones. The main reason I only hang with creative people when I go out. We have all been slaving away at our art and really really really want to interact with someone and have real conversations.

“Where Do You See Yourself in 5 Years?…. Dead” is about another friend of mine who is one of the biggest songwriters in Nashville TN. The song is outlined just like her career. Years and years of churning out hits and making money since she was 17. Not caring about fame, just the pen and the pad. We were in my car headed to Atlanta and I remember her breaking down crying in my car about how she wished more people knew who she was and that she wants the attention people have gotten off of her songs. In my eyes I thought being a millionaire before 23 years old would have been good enough for her. Thats what the lyrics are. They feel like they are taunting at first but when the song breaks down later you feel a little different about them.

I hope you enjoy this album. It was very fun to make. I played all of the bass, guitar, sourced the samples and sang over a few of the tracks. Cheers


released August 2, 2016

All Vocals, Guitars, Basses by Leroy "FatVonFree" Freeman....

Patrick Gentile at Beardface Inc, Gibson Guitars, Fender Guitars, Dunlop/MXR effects
D'Addario Strings, Epiphone Guitars and Basses.



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Leroy "FatVonFree" Freeman Jr. Tokyo, Japan

Just a dude from Central Texas trying to make a blend of Maynard James Keenan, Curtis Mayfield, The Alchemist, Gov't Mule and Delta Blues.....Trying......I play Bass, Lead Guitar, Sing, and Record. Hit Me Up....

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